tear

(oh my gosh.. i'm making a fucking fool of myself describing what i feel about a movie shown a decade ago. sorry. can't help it. sucks, but, well.. i can't keep my feelings bottled up, can i? Ü)

so i cried watching brokeback mountain.

it's not just a movie about gays, about the persecution of gays, or about the real homophobic society to which we all symbolize..

it is, above all, a love story -- a story of a man's inability to stand by his love. and almost everybody, be they gay, lesbian, hetero, male, female, white, black, european, american, asian, or african, knows that fear, that conflict, that tragedy on which ennis and jack were bound.

of course, everybody who has seen this knows this. but this is sorta a reminder:
true love knows no gender.

on the lighter side of things, my dad saw me crying, and we laughed a good laugh. haha.

p.s. anne proulx's short story is online. click here.

oh, happy days

i couldn't remember exactly when i was extremely happy these past few days. everything is just pragmatically routine. (pragmatic? haha..well it sounds nice.) i wake up, go to school, visit the library, go home, cook, clean, yada yada. the boredom. gosh, i feel like a housewife already; college people are not meant to be stuck like this.

so anyway, i am so sorry for being both very blunt and very sensitive sometimes. i think i just told off people for some minor injuries, like shutting me up for example. ok, i may be quite noisy, but if you don't want to talk to me, then leave. you don't have to put on some ipod headphones just because i'm about to tell a joke. fucking drama. i apologize, though; science calls this pms.

and here's to the people who like me (i don't know why, though. i wouldn't like myself if i were a guy.): you know i won't give in if i make stupid excuses just to not be with you. and if i didn't like you at first, i wouldn't like you ever. so yeah, there's a huge difference between you coming to see me to say hi then leave, and you coming to see me to say hi, and stay forever. if i don't offer you a seat, it means i prefer you do the former. soooorry.

anyway, i miss a lot of people. for one thing, i miss talking to mau. mau, the first thing i will do after i get my phone replaced is to talk to you! i promise! and i miss ate magz and our boydom memories. haha. gosh. hawaiian and chem guys are most fun. (i miss these guys, too.) and i miss shim! we are so darn alike it's freaky(except for the capital letters).

and by the way, iraqi people bomb themselves to get america out of their country. i would do the same thing, too, if some government promises me salvation and freedom, but in the end, turns out to steal my resources and leaves me starving in a tent without electricity, water, medication, and oil (which is rather ironic, considering iraq's bountiful reserves of it). go figure.

and i miss cebu. and charmion. and nikki. and keinah. oh, happy days.